Unlocking Stress Management with Janna Kerr

In this episode of the Mom Owned and Operated podcast, Rita Suzanne and Janna Kerr discuss raising a family, running a business and remembering yourself.

Janna Kerr is an IAHC Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach and founder of At The Well Coaching. She serves exhausted Christian moms by meeting them “at the well” — in the midst of their day-to-day — and empowers them to love and care for their bodies so they can fulfill their God-given mission in this world.

As a mom of three, Janna knows the struggle of not having enough energy to make dinner, let alone "find balance". In 2016, Janna was able to shift her focus from the nonprofit world to the health and wellness industry. Personal connection with her clients is the best part of her day and she's passionate about giving them simple, realistic, and actionable tools.

You can connect with Janna on her website, on Instagram, Facebook, or in her Facebook Group. 

Chapters

• 0:27 Supporting Stressed Christian Moms
• 13:11 Balancing Work, Family, and Self-Care
• 27:45 Online Resources for Exhausted Moms

Transcript

Rita Suzanne: 0:28

Hi, this is Mom Owned and Operated. I am Rita, suzanne, and today I have my guest, jana, with me. Jana, I'm so excited to have you on. Please tell everyone all about you, your business and your family, sure.

Janna Kerr: 0:42

Thanks, rita, I'm really excited to be here. Your podcast is just awesome. So yeah, my name is Jana Kerr. I am wife, mom of three. They are 11, 8, and 6. And, as of this recording, two of them are still in school. We go so late here in Pennsylvania so I have only one home right now.

Janna Kerr: 1:01

But summer is just beginning and I hate using the word mission sometimes because it sounds very corporate or, conversely, to like fluffy. But what I'm really passionate about is helping exhausted Christian moms because we're all tired. It doesn't matter how young or how old our kids are. Momming is tough, and especially momming running a business.

Janna Kerr: 1:28

So I love to support moms at whatever state they're in, whether they have babies or middle schoolers or even grown children, to learn how to prioritize their self-care and not feel guilty about it, not feel like they're doing it for some vain or selfish reason, but to really give them simple and doable tools, not this like big do a 180. You have to work out for an hour every day. Redesign your pantry, you know, throw out all the junk food. We have to do simple, baby steps and that is where I help moms. Just do those simple steps so we get towards that long-term change, to make those lifestyle changes and make them into habits, and to keep it easy, because, again, when we're tired and overwhelmed, our brains don't have room to process big, long to-do lists or lots of research or things like that. We need simple and we need easy, and so that is what I do with my health coaching.

Rita Suzanne: 2:25

So what started? What made you decide to start your own business?

Janna Kerr: 2:36

started? What made you decide to start your own business? Well, I kind of got into entrepreneurship not in a way I was expecting when my oldest was one. I was introduced to the network marketing world and really had a horrible opinion of it and I only hopped on Borg. So I was like you know what, if I could make a tiny bit of money, why not? So I did that. I mean, I still do it actually.

Janna Kerr: 2:58

And again there's I've seen a lot of great companies out there and I've seen a lot of horrible companies. So I've been kind of on both sides and that it took me a couple of years to be like oh you know what? Network marketing is a business. You can choose to run it like a business or it can be a hobby. So for me that side has kind of been a hobby. But it introduced me to that world and all of the education I got about what it means to be an entrepreneur and what it means to run a business and how you can actually do that with kids at home.

Janna Kerr: 3:29

I don't think I would have started my coaching business if I hadn't first kind of dipped my toes in the water there and gotten that, because network marketing there's a lot of handholding, a lot of support, at least in my company, and it really laid the foundation for me of oh, I kind of know a little bit what it's like to be an entrepreneur and it's in the health and wellness world and all the education I got really lit up my mind, my heart, just everything I was learning. And because of my networking and connections I was making, I learned about health coaching. I didn't even know that was a job, I didn't know it was a thing, and so then I went down that path because my favorite part of my business is with that customer care and getting to walk alongside people and when I realized that that could be my primary job getting to coach people I was like I'm done, I'm in, like let's go. I went back to school, started my coaching business and I love it. So I still do both, but the coaching is my primary.

Rita Suzanne: 4:39

So and you focus on helping with reducing stress. Tell me a little bit more about that.

Janna Kerr: 4:46

Yeah, I am the queen of stress, maya. I went to see an endocrinologist a couple of years ago and he was like I don't have any problems, you're just an A plus plus personality. Like, oh, thanks. So that's, it's a big challenge for me, and so I've had to learn for my own health how to take care of myself.

Janna Kerr: 5:10

Being a mom when I was working full-time, when I was home running the one business, now running two Again, just dealing with life and kids. No matter what your vocation is, we live in a very stressful world. So it is so important to me that I give moms and myself again it started with having to take care of me simple tools to not just manage stress because that is to me, managing feels like a flat line but to be able to master it, to make it work for us, because it's never going to go away. You know I can't. When someone sits down and meets with me, I'm never going to tell you you're going to have no stress. You know it's always going to be there. So, helping myself, helping other moms learn how to assess their stress, to appreciate it and then to adjust, and those are like the three steps to stress mastery versus stress management.

Rita Suzanne: 6:15

So what are some techniques that you like to recommend or use to manage stress, because I know that a lot of moms are stressed and overwhelmed and exhausted.

Janna Kerr: 6:28

And they have to be simple, right? These tips and tools have to be really simple. Yep, and they have to be simple, right? These tips and tools have to be really simple. The first one that I love is just redefining what stress means. Redefining it, and the definition that I love the most is that stress is the gap between the demand on your life and your capacity to handle it. So when demand is really high you've got kids with a million activities you have this marketing plan that you have to put together. You've got kids with a million activities. You have this marketing plan that you have to put together. You've got a launch coming up, but you are so sleep deprived you're not feeding yourself well. You can't remember the last time you went out with girlfriends. Your capacity is really low, and so you're going to be in a lot of stress. That gap is really big. But if you're able to go out with some girlfriends, if you're able to get a good night's sleep, able to go out with some girlfriends, if you're able to get a good night's sleep, if you can feed yourself well, you're increasing your capacity to deal with all that demand and so you don't feel as stressed.

Janna Kerr: 7:20

And so one thing I love to have people do is just to write down, like, just write down all the demands on your life and look and see which ones you might be able to reduce. And it's always kind of funny because I'm like you can't give away your kids, you can't pick up and move, you can't randomly quit a job. There's some big demands that we can't always change, that we don't always have control over. But could you decrease your demand by going out for pizza? Maybe it's not the healthiest option, but if you don't have to cook dinner on a really crazy night, that is a way to decrease your demand. You have an older kid who could maybe make pancakes, you know, so that you don't have to cook dinner. What are some of these ways that you could decrease demand? Ask people to carpool so you're not running, you know, back and forth one extra time.

Janna Kerr: 8:10

And then there are so many ways to increase capacity and we can spend a ton of time on this, but little ways to just recharge. For some women it's prayer, for some women it's meditation exercise. It could just be putting on really nice lotion and just feeling yourself rub the lotion into your hands. That could be just like that moment you need of, like I'm taking care of myself right now. It could be eating a good meal, not skipping lunch, you know, not going for that extra cup of coffee, instead trying to get some water and some fresh air. There's so many different things, and those can be simple and free. Self-care doesn't always have to be blocking out an hour for a massage or getting a pedicure, going on a spa retreat. All these little, simple things can really increase your capacity so that you're not feeling that huge gap. That's probably the biggest one.

Rita Suzanne: 9:07

Yeah, I was before we got on the call. I was mentioning how I went out of town to a wedding over this past weekend and I ran into one of my cousins who I haven't seen in probably six or seven years and now she has three children small children and you know talking to her about, you know what it's like having all the little ones, and I know how overwhelming it is because she's working and they're at home and you know how there's a lot going on, and she just kept saying you know, it's good, it's good, it's good. And I and I just kept saying you know, just make sure you're asking for help, make sure you're asking, because I remember just feeling like I can do it. I can do it all you know like, and never, and I still have a problem asking for help.

Rita Suzanne: 10:02

I'm getting better, but I just knew that it's not that I felt like I can do it all, it's just that I hated to burden somebody else with my issues or my things and so I would never really ask for help, and so I was just telling her how important it is, especially with young kids. Just ask for help or, you know, seek out help, especially from your partner help or, you know, seek out help, especially from your partner, even when you feel like you know they. Maybe they they're also tired, but you also deserve a break.

Janna Kerr: 10:46

Oh yeah, asking for help is huge and again we have this like super mom mentality, like I'm expected to cook and clean and feed everyone and work and have, you know, a presentable house and not have my car look like trash and all these things. But we absolutely cannot do it by ourselves and that's a great way that I encourage a lot of moms to increase their capacity is to ask for help. Even if you just swap, like if you already have kids at home, it's not that hard to watch a couple more. So can your neighbor, can you drop your kids off at her house. She can run errands by herself and then can she take your kids so you can run errands by yourself, even little things like that, just not being afraid to ask for the help.

Rita Suzanne: 11:25

Well, one thing that I want to mention that me and my ex-husband used to do when my kids were younger is that a lot of people will be like, oh, when my husband comes home or my partner comes home, they take over watching the kids and then I'm able to work. But they stay in the home while they're working and then they continue to get bombarded with the requests. Right, the kids continue to come to them because that's their go-to. They know that they have to go to mom. So when I was with my ex-husband, what I would do if it was my turn, I would actually just leave and go around the corner to the coffee shop or wherever, to the library and do work from there, because I knew I wasn't going to be able to focus. And, yes, it took me a little bit longer to like get there, set up and do all of the things, but I was actually able to get more done, even though I and so I think that a lot of people think, oh, it's such a it's such a hassle to leave.

Rita Suzanne: 12:30

So I think that a lot of people think, oh, it's such a hassle to leave.

Janna Kerr: 12:36

But it's actually, I think it fills you up more to leave. Yeah, sure, and again to your point, like when you are in a different physical space, you focus differently and concentrate differently, because our mom ears never turn off, you know, even if we've got headsets on or anything, you know we're always kind of listening and you're in the same house, they're going to come to you, right or?

Rita Suzanne: 12:56

your partner is going to come to you default. Come to you and ask you, what about this and what about that? And then you know you're going to feel like taking over, because that's what we do.

Janna Kerr: 13:12

I use visual cues with my kids, so right now the door is closed. They know if the door is closed unless something is flooding on fire or there's blood somewhere. Like they're not supposed to interrupt me. Dad's downstairs and if he's in a meeting he'll tell them what the parameters are. Right, yeah.

Rita Suzanne: 13:28

Visual cue. I think that you have to teach your kids how to adjust when you're, especially when you're working from home, like I started working from home 10 years ago, and so for my kids they understand what it's like when I'm working from home. And you know, they're teenagers now. But when I got custody of my nieces they were used to my sister, like if my sister's home, like she's there for them, right, she's not working, and so I had to then in turn teach them how, if I'm working, don't, it's not, it's not talk time, you know. And so I think that it just goes hand in hand of you know, it just takes that one little step and then that can, you know, alleviate some of the stress off of your plate. Like, just give me a minute, let me focus on this, I'm working, and then I will come back to you when I'm not working. And I think that sometimes for younger kids it's harder to understand, but they will, they will get it.

Janna Kerr: 14:33

Yeah, there's a Montessori trick that I learned, where the the kid knows that they just put their hand on mom's shoulder or leg, whatever they can reach.

Janna Kerr: 14:46

And as mom's busy and all mom has to do is put her hand on top of theirs to acknowledge I see you, I know you're there, but I'm not ready to talk to you yet, Okay, and then the kids know okay, like I've been seen, I'm going to wait my turn and it doesn't always work. I haven't really reinforced it a lot with my youngest, but the times that she does it it's incredible, because I'll be on a call and she'll just kind of come and tap my leg and I just put my hand on top of her hand and she just hangs out until I can put myself on mute and answer her questions.

Rita Suzanne: 15:21

So I like that. That's. That's good, because you're acknowledging, but you're also just letting her know I'm not ready yet, and then she knows um, that's a wonderful tip and it's interesting too, because, you know, the whole reason why I started this podcast was because I had stopped communicating and I had with other moms specifically, and I had stopped taking care of myself, and, you know, during a very traumatic period of my life. And so I just was in, you know, a depressive state and I came up with this name and I said I don't, I don't know what I'm going to do with this name. And then I thought I've always wanted to have a podcast. You know what I'm going to do.

Rita Suzanne: 16:10

I'm going to ask other moms how they're able to do this, how they're able to raise their families, run their businesses, but, most importantly, how are they able to take care of themselves as well as doing all of these things? Because we get so caught up in these other two things, right, like, first, as a woman, our new identity becomes a mom, and then, when we have a business, you know, add that on and we become a. Now we're a business owner, and then we start to stop taking care of ourselves sometimes, right, some people do, and so I always ask moms, like my most important, I guess. The question I never fail to ask is how are you taking care of yourself? And when I first started this, a lot of the answers were around getting your hair done. You know, talked about more things that are less around those. I guess. Services, which they are, they are still like their form of self-care, but these are not your everyday self-care. So what are you doing, jana, to take care of yourself? What do you do?

Janna Kerr: 17:39

First, I exercise and I will be very honest, I do not really enjoy exercise. I was never like a super sporty kid. I don't like going to the gym. But I recognize the need to move my body and so I try to get intentional movement every single day. Whether sometimes it's been a really rough day, it is literally squats as I'm brushing my teeth and that's all I do. But on a good day, yeah, like something, you have to do something. And honestly, I have some back issues and I know if I don't move my body I'm going to be able to move a lot less because my back will start hurting. So I would say the movement is probably the biggest and I'm talking like five to 15 minutes. You know I don't go to the gym for an hour. That's not my speed, but for some people that might be what they need.

Janna Kerr: 18:32

Some people exercise as stress relief. For me it's just a way to kind of check in with my body. I so often we are so busy and frenetic and go, go, go that almost we're out of touch, I think, with our bodies. So the program I do every once in a while the trainers be like oh, hello, body. Like yes, that's so true, like when was the last time I checked in with my breathing and feeling certain muscles? And like coming back into my own body, um, and I know like I can sound a little odd or woo, woo or whatever, but um, it's. I just find it so helpful to do that every day, um, and I there's a lot of other things I do, but I would say that's probably for me. It's very recharging. It boosts my capacity to be able to handle whatever the day is going to throw at me or did throw at me, depending on when I get it done.

Rita Suzanne: 19:31

And I think it's so important. I am one of those like gym nuts, um, but it helps me recharge and I think that you know whatever way that you're able to recharge and de-stress and you know you just have to do it. And, like we've talked about, like some of the things that we've talked about, like when I first started doing this to me, one of the things that I would do would be like taking a bath, you know like, or sitting in my car for an extra five minutes alone, or in the bathroom, like by myself, you know like. These are things that I would just like. I just need a minute, like just a minute to myself, because there's four of them and there's one of me, and I am just feeling bombarded.

Rita Suzanne: 20:24

And I would tell my kids all the time, like, just imagine your one thing, and it's like you, somebody is pulling on you, there's something pulling on you at all times, as, like that's the way I feel sometimes when you guys put me in these situations, and it can be very overwhelming. And so you know, I was trying to help them to understand, like, the emotions that come behind it, because it's not personal, it's not you, yeah, it's just your nervous system. Yeah, I'm overwhelmed.

Janna Kerr: 21:01

Our brains don't know the difference between bombs going off around us and kids being noisy. Yeah, like, our brain is like, oh, you're in danger, and it flips on the fight or flight and you're stressed. It's okay, brain, calm yourself down. Just the kids being loud. We actually are safe. You know. Nothing is wrong. Our brains are really good at keeping us safe, so true.

Rita Suzanne: 21:28

I love um, especially for so, um, one thing that I like to do is just ask if another mom was to come to you and uh, and talk to you about starting her own business, would you recommend like MLMs, or would you say, like, jump straight into your own business? I I usually don't ask that question, but since you are and have experience with MLM, I'm curious to know your thoughts, just because I am not an MLM lover, so I would love to know your thoughts.

Janna Kerr: 22:05

I think it really depends on the company. I really think you have to do research there because, again, there are some great ones out there that help a lot of people and take very good care of their distributors and their customers, but there are some really sleazy ones out there who aren't going to take good care of you as a distributor, aren't going to support you in taking care of your customers, and so I think that first you have to do your research and find a really solid, reputable company with a solid, reputable product. Yeah, and the nice thing about the network marketing world is that all the resources are kind of there for you. So, my own business I have to put together all of my own social media images. I have to write all my own business. I have to put together all of my own social media images. I have to write all my own copy. In the network marketing world, they're going to give you templates or images that you can share and they'll have maybe a promo schedule or something like. You don't have to come up with that side. They might even email your customers for you. So it is like a nice little dip your toe in the water.

Janna Kerr: 23:20

But again, if it's not with a good company, you re, I've seen so many people just damage relationships. Um, I've seen the ugly side of it and I've also seen the really, really amazing side, like I've. I was able to leave my full-time job when our son was born our middle and I knew that I was going to have some money coming in from my side gig and it was enough to help keep us going, that I didn't have to go back and get my part-time job that I thought I was going to have to get and then that kept us going. Enough that then I could say, oh, I want to go back to school to become a health coach, and I was able to do that.

Janna Kerr: 23:59

So there's definitely upsides to it. So it really depends. If you're feeling that call to start your own business, I would just again look at it. How much do you want to be running absolutely everything? So you have control of absolutely everything, but it means you're doing absolutely everything to start your own business, versus finding a good network marketing company that is going to take a lot of that off your plate and you know you just share the product or the service or whatever it is.

Rita Suzanne: 24:32

Yeah, it can be so questionable because a lot of people invest in the MLM or network marketing company and then they see nothing from it. But you know it could be that they don't have a big enough network themselves in order to make the profits or you know they're not able to, you know, bring in enough customers or people under them. I think there's so many factors to that. And really finding and maybe just not believing like the person online, just not believing like you can't just believe just a person on the internet who looks like they're successful, you know you have to actually do a little bit of research and due diligence just to make sure that they're trustworthy versus like I mean, if you're going to invest your money in them, you want to make sure that they're a reputable person who's going to be like a good, good resource for your upline right.

Janna Kerr: 25:33

Yeah.

Rita Suzanne: 25:34

Yeah, I think that that's helpful.

Janna Kerr: 25:36

Well, and a red flag for me with a lot of network marketing companies is how much you have to put in up front. That's immediately like if I have to put in over $100, I'm out.

Rita Suzanne: 25:49

Yeah.

Janna Kerr: 25:50

And I know there's so many out there where it's really expensive. You have to have a lot of inventory.

Rita Suzanne: 25:56

And you have to maintain it every single month, yeah, and those are red flags. Yeah, you have to maintain the purchases too, and I'm like, wait a minute, you're not even making any money and I got to still buy. Yeah, it's crazy, it's crazy. So, what type of services? Before we move on to like the last little bit, what kind of services do you offer to clients? Do you do have like one-on-one, or do you offer group programs? Like, what do you do?

Janna Kerr: 26:26

I do a little bit of everything, so I love one-on-one coaching because we can dive really into what your specific needs are and your specific goals. I love doing that. I also have a group program called the Exhausted Mom Solution and that's a 12-week program, so there's an online component that you can do whenever you want, and then six group calls. And group coaching is so great because everyone ends up learning from each other and it's just really beautiful how the women connect. I just I love group coaching. And then I do have an option where moms can buy the exhausted mom solution and just totally do it on their own. Like, if they don't feel comfortable with coaching, don't feel like they've got the time, they can just get the program and go through it on their own Perfect.

Rita Suzanne: 27:16

Yeah, I think that group coaching is important too, because they get support from you and from each other and they can really, you know, get so much from that. And I think, as the, as the provider, as the facilitator, it's good for you because there's less time right, so you're able to scale and make better, make more money, so I think that that's great. So where can we find you online? Where are you at?

Janna Kerr: 27:49

So my website is at thewellcoachingcom. Everything's on there. The work with me button has info about Exhausted Mom Solution one-on-one. All the things I do on there. The work with me button has info about exhausted mom solution one-on-one. All the things I do and I'm on.

Rita Suzanne: 28:05

Instagram and Facebook at the well coaching. Do you have a Facebook group or no?

Janna Kerr: 28:08

I do. It is called the fatigue free mom community.

Rita Suzanne: 28:12

Love it All right. Well, thank you so much, Shanna. It's been such a pleasure chatting with you Love it Great.

Janna Kerr: 28:21

Thank you for having me.